My nephew is in a new league for Fall baseball. He’s 8 years old. My observations (trying to be an unbiased uncle): He’s a pretty good player. Not a stand-out star but he hits and fields well. A solid contributor to the team who occasionally will have a great game. He talks to everybody including opposing coaches and anyone near him on the field so sometimes his attention isn’t on the game. He gets good grades at school and is pretty sharp in the smarts department. This summer he received two game balls from his coaches for good games.

At a game last week he started out in right field. He looked over to make sure I was watching. A boring inning. As he was running in to the dugout I let him know he did a great job of staying in the game. He gave me a funny look.

He came to the plate and quickly struck-out. When he came over to me I immediately told him how good a job he did of staying focused in the field.  He said, “I have trouble being ready in the field.” Hmm. I asked about his at bat. He said, “I strike out all the time.” Whoa! This is the same kid I recently saw get two and three hits each game.

Later, playing third base, twice with base runners bearing down on him he caught long throws from the outfield. The runners beat the throws but he made the catches. The crowd of parents yelled support and praise. He didn’t really respond. Then the voice from the coach in the dugout – “You should have made the tag,” followed by the little, fading voice, “I tried but the throw was too late.”

I asked my nephew after the game if he thought he was a good player and he hemmed and hawed. I asked him why. He said, “my coaches only tell me what I do wrong.” We had a discussion about confidence and criticism. We’ll work together and I think he’ll be fine. Sad though that a productive and confident player was so quickly reduced to a non-contributor just taking up space.

A couple of observations:

• The reaction of the leader is always noticed.
• The reaction of the leader means more than every other form of feedback.
• The level of confidence of the performer is directly influenced by the leader.
• The influence of the leader can make or break the performance of the team members.
• There is a bigger picture than the immediate transaction at stake.

Evaluate your fleeting interactions with your team members. What impacts are you having. Score your feedback for a week. Use a simple scoring system. Is each feedback opportunity positive or negative? Look at your score at the end of the week. Are there any fences you need to mend? Is some balancing necessary?

Photo credit: Wildernice

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