The birds and the bees? No, “THE conversation” we’re talking about is between you, the leader, and a team member. However, the same angst and feelings of dread usually accompany this conversation, just like it does with the young adult.

These conversations can be about something positive or negative. It might involve some constructive feedback, growth plans, or a congratulations on a job well done. The same lack of comfort exists for many managers regardless of the subject.

For the birds and the bees discussion you’re nervous. You break out in a sweat just thinking about it. “Will they think I’m a jerk? Will they already know what I’m trying to share? How did they find out?” As legendary Ohio State football coach Woody Hayes said about the passing game, “There are four things that can happen and three are bad.” Maybe THE conversation could wait?

Well, no, it can’t. When you put off the conversation with the adolescent because of your discomfort there could be both immediate and long lasting repercussions. You want a well adjusted young adult not some screwed up kid because mom or dad didn’t know how to have the conversation. You jump in and you just do it. It’s your job as a leader.

The same is true for your team member. Putting off the conversation can have both immediate and long lasting negative repercussions. Not having the conversation can stifle growth, you could miss an opportunity to teach, you may show a lack of caring to your subordinate, and can damage confidence when good work goes seemingly unnoticed.

Just like with the birds and the bees discussion. A couple things happen as a result of the conversation:

• Learning together – Yes together. It’s a conversation so you will likely learn just as much as the person you’re conversing with.
• Trust deepens - Another layer is added to the trust bond between you and the team member. There is recognition for how difficult some conversations are.
• Communication becomes a habit – Every instance of conversation increases the possibility that conversations will continue and this is important so that when more difficult situations arise the lines are open.
• The feedback loop begins - Back to learning. The leader doesn’t have to be the one to initiate conversations. Setting this precedent helps you stay connected to the organization when your team comes to you.

Are there any conversations you’re putting off right now?

THE conversation – jump in and just do it. It’s your job as a leader.

Photo credit: Whiskeygonebad

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